Saturday, December 10, 2005

But I'm Not Depressed...

I keep hearing how diabetes and depression go together. Maybe I am a weirdo (or maybe I am just a newly dx'd person who is in the midst of their honeymoon), but I rarely find myself getting down about diabetes (note to readers- new to diabetes, not new to bs problems). I mean, yeah, it sucks majorly at times. Monday i was up half the night treating a low, my fingers look like hell, and there is a whole slew of complication thoughts running through my head. But oh my, it could be so much worse. It's Christmas time, and on the news they show kids at our nearny children's hospital getting gifts from volunteers- I am not in the hospital. During my childhood years I have spent many a day in that very hospital, but my goodness, I have never had to be there for the holidays. I have a friend who was just diagnosed with a deadly illness that will slowly take away each part of his physical body, leaving only his mind left. Diabetes? Yep, I'll take it.

Do I get tired of it? Yes. Can I deal with it? Hell yeah.

One thing about diabetes is it never ceases to amaze me how your thought train adapts to it. I think this is true for all chronic illnesses though. For my non-d sisters, if they have a headache, they pop a few pills. Me it's more like:

a. Drink water- you must be dehydrated
b. Test- you may be low/high
c. Test again an hour later- you may be dropping/rising
d. Then take drug if other causes ruled out
e. Take nap to cure headache- but not too long, wouldn't want to miss a bs test

Sometimes I think about the future. Will I be at my wedding bolusing for cake? Will I risk passing out from a hypo during my kid's christening? Will I have kids?

I have no idea for any of those, but someone told me to take it one day at a time- and that is all you can do. So for now, it's "What do I have to do today?" Jump the hurdle ahead- not the one down the field.

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